Ignoring my need to have you listen.
Seeking other woman; throughout our marriage.
Lying over the simple of things?
Lack of accountability in your closest of relationships. Your children have so little respect for you. Given how you’ve spoken so hurtful towards their mother; your ex wife.
Financially, you’ve used the system to gain for self. Despite the many consequences relating to your poor choices and lying about your responsibilities.
Using others for your gain simply shows the lack of your character.
Why then, have I forgiven you every single time you’ve cheated and lied to me?
That says more about my lack. My inability to have boundaries in my life with you.
I’ve wanted to be that person who stands by you in all life circumstances and support you in your mental illness. Instead, I’ve compromised who I am as a mother, daughter and ultimately a woman who accepted you unconditionally.
So now, my consequences are to regaining who I was before meeting you and falling in love.
My hopes and dreams are finally my own to make. I’ve chosen not to rely on words of grand planning for a future with someone who has such a tragic past and history of abuse.
One who chooses to live with such illusions of right and wrong. I don’t blame you, for everything which was wrong in our life together. I was an active partner who bent every which way I could to improve my perceptions of marriage with you.
Since this relationship started, I’ve had many witnesses who have advised me to move forward & seek my own life without the tremendous amount of grief as your wife.
Love, what is it really?
Love, for me has everything to do with loving who we are as individuals first. I’ve lacked there. How can I expect you to love me when I have struggled with loving me from the start. My insecurities as a woman, as a wife, as a mother and even as a daughter has been heightened through wrongful relationship choices.
Only I, can change that about me.
I choose to move into each day seeking healing and healthy thinking,,, onto me.
Throw it away and walk !
A word from my Maker.
Thankfully, I recognized His voice.
