Thursday, April 23, 2020
Monday, April 20, 2020
Trauma
You are the man I chose, for life
As days pass into months, then years
I see your fears, I Recognize the pain
Your life is so seriously Affected by trauma, you are my trauma
I know hurt, I know intimidation and ultimatums. This is not love. Abuse, bruises, I’m allowing you to kill me.
Our marriage it’s best when neither one of us consume any poison.
The majority of your life you learned to hide, lie, to be silent.
I am the one that said, I do. Remember, in sickness or health, richer or poorer, Till death do us part.
God, as my witness, He knows my heart.
I cannot fix you I canT be there through it.
If only you knew how to love me & only see me
as the only woman to love you .... as you had promised.
My tears have fallen far too many times in Such disappointment
And the lost hope That you will not call out to God to help you.
I’m not the one for you. Or, you’re not the one for me.
As I wait, I pray for God’s will to be done. He is, the way maker.
I Miss .... being loved
DJ
As days pass into months, then years
I see your fears, I Recognize the pain
Your life is so seriously Affected by trauma, you are my trauma
I know hurt, I know intimidation and ultimatums. This is not love. Abuse, bruises, I’m allowing you to kill me.
I’m tired, tired of this.
These secrets become so heavy upon your shoulders & Mine too.
I see their weight in the tone of your voice; the ways you hurt & hurt me. Cowardly, twisted ways.
I see the thoughts in your head stealing time between us
The blank stares, pretending to hear me, Nodding your
head yet not a clue as to what has been said.
These secrets become so heavy upon your shoulders & Mine too.
I see their weight in the tone of your voice; the ways you hurt & hurt me. Cowardly, twisted ways.
I see the thoughts in your head stealing time between us
The blank stares, pretending to hear me, Nodding your
head yet not a clue as to what has been said.
I am a fool. To have allowed it. You’ve used my greatest fears against me. Despicable.
I ask myself why have you chosen a broken man?
I asked god is he too much for me? I’m not strong enough and am I not enough for him? It will always be alcohol? cheating? Lies?? Stealing?? They ways of a narcissist
& how you choose to comfort & numb those childhood terrors only By hurting me. I’ll keep your secrets
Addictions destroy, divide and conquer our love
So then why do I continue to cry? God, save me from this man.
I chose to be supportive and encouraging you to take care of this problem
Not alone, not afraid, with someone who will be there
Please bring the laughter back let me hold you as my husband,,,it’s my hearts cry. Then my brain kicks in.
I ask myself why have you chosen a broken man?
I asked god is he too much for me? I’m not strong enough and am I not enough for him? It will always be alcohol? cheating? Lies?? Stealing?? They ways of a narcissist
& how you choose to comfort & numb those childhood terrors only By hurting me. I’ll keep your secrets
Addictions destroy, divide and conquer our love
So then why do I continue to cry? God, save me from this man.
I chose to be supportive and encouraging you to take care of this problem
Not alone, not afraid, with someone who will be there
Please bring the laughter back let me hold you as my husband,,,it’s my hearts cry. Then my brain kicks in.
Our marriage it’s best when neither one of us consume any poison.
The majority of your life you learned to hide, lie, to be silent.
I am the one that said, I do. Remember, in sickness or health, richer or poorer, Till death do us part.
God, as my witness, He knows my heart.
I cannot fix you I canT be there through it.
If only you knew how to love me & only see me
as the only woman to love you .... as you had promised.
My tears have fallen far too many times in Such disappointment
And the lost hope That you will not call out to God to help you.
I’m not the one for you. Or, you’re not the one for me.
As I wait, I pray for God’s will to be done. He is, the way maker.
I Miss .... being loved
DJ
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